How to Deal with Family Stress Around the Holidays
For many of us, spending time with family during the holidays is something straight out of a Hallmark movie, with days filled with comfort and joy. But for others, the holidays with family are scarier than Halloween. From the stress of traveling to the pressure of buying and wrapping gifts and the fact many family members can’t be in the same room with each other without a fight erupting, holidays can be stressful!
While you can’t necessarily stop family drama from occurring, there are some simple and effective ways you can deal with it:
Practice Self-compassion
Self Compassion is having sensitivity for yourself, during the holidays it can be easy to brush this aside.You may have to take care of others but taking care of yourself is just as important. Like your family, know you are human to. Some steps you can take are comforting yourself, praising yourself, practicing mindfulness, and finding comfort in others.
Have Realistic Expectations
So much of the pain of the holidays comes from having unrealistic expectations. Rather, focus on self-compassion. Don’t setting yourself up for disappointment. Acknowledge beforehand that you and your family are human and that there may be those moments that aren’t very pleasant and that’s okay. Life and families are messy. Recognize it, own it, and you won’t get as upset.
Set Your Boundaries
Build boundaries with self-compassion in mind. Time spent with families over the holidays can also trigger us to feel like children all over again, essentially helpless. But you don't have to feel this way. You can set those boundaries to protect your mental health. Determine before you go what you will tolerate and what you won’t. This can be for simple things like meal times and sleeping accommodations to what topics of discussion you will engage in. Be sure to share your personal limits with all involved.
Use Good Judgement
Develop a non-judgemental stance is a way to be aligned with collective compassion. When the holiday drama sets in, it’s easy to want to drink more or eat more processed foods. But in large amounts, alcohol, and processed sugars impair our mood and judgment. Do your best not to overindulge.
You may also want to speak with a therapist in the weeks leading up to the holidays. He or she can give you tools to help you navigate the awkward and tense moments during family get-togethers.
If you’re interested in exploring therapy, please reach out to Path Of Compassion today! I’d love to help your holidays be warm and merry.
SOURCES:
Elkin, C. (n.d.). 10 healthy ways to deal with holiday family drama. Oscar. https://www.hioscar.com/blog/10-healthy-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-family-drama
RoweKeith, K. (2022, April 12). How to avoid family drama during the holidays: Tips for Family Conflict. BrainMD Blog. https://brainmd.com/blog/how-to-avoid-family-drama-during-the-holidays/
Fabian-Weber, N. (2023, November 15). How to deal with toxic family members during the happiest time of Year. Care.com Resources. https://www.care.com/c/toxic-family-during-the-holidays/
Campbell, E., Yaugher, A., & Killian, T. (2021, December 6). Self-compassion during the holidays. Self-Compassion During the Holidays. https://extension.usu.edu/mentalhealth/articles/self-compassion-during-the-holidays